I started writing a post a few days ago. It was going to be about some friends of mine who went to a strip club and the money two of them paid (over £3000, WTF?). Being all diligent and shiz I thought I'd do some research. Well Google. That counts right? Bad idea.
I started by searching 'why do men go to strip clubs'. Thought I might find a study, or some research, or, well, anything really. Instead, the first thing I found was an article on askmen.com (seriously, by the way, if you want to hate the world while you have a cup of tea, here is a good place to start).
It was this article
There is just SO MUCH WRONG in 600 words.
The whole article was written by 'womens sexuality correspondent' Vanesssa Burton. Firstly, let me say that I'm really glad that Vanessa is using her platform to speak for all women. I mean she is a woman, so that definitely means she can do that. I don't know what qualifications you have to get to be a 'womens sexuality correspondent' (lots of sex? a vagina? an opinion? all answers on a postcard please) but given how good this article is, I'm going to say they're tough to get.
My favourite bit of the article is the second part 'why women hate them'.
Let’s start with her introduction to why women hate them. It turns out that women don't NEED a reason to hate them. That's because they FEEL something. Over to you Vanessa.
The reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Remember, women don't need to explain things. When they feel something, especially when it concerns their men, no matter how trivial it is, don't bother arguing.
First of all, if women don't need to explain things, why didn't you stop writing this article? It really would have been better for humanity. And my Saturday afternoon. Second of all, I literally have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I feel something concerning my 'man' (vom), and that means I can say and do whatever I want without an argument? I mean great, I guess. I can do what I want. Hey Vanessa, I 'feel' that you're kind of annoying. Don't bother arguing.
How about her first point? Any better?
There are women with no clothes all around. Just imagine your girlfriend or wife surrounded by perfectly chiseled naked men, and you will understand their disapproval.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Really gets to the heart of the matter right? Well yes, in a strip club, there are women with no clothes. Thanks for the heads up! That might even be part of the reason why women don't like it. The problem is, is that it doesn't normally lead to 'disapproval'. Unless your girlfriend/wife is also your mother/teacher/boss. Your girlfriend/wife is probably more upset (those pesky feelings again! don't argue!) that you're spending your free time and money on a random naked woman. Either that or she is an intelligent woman who might think that the inherently creepy power balances in strip clubs are a bad thing, and she disapproves of you engaging with that.
The second point?
Women don't trust men. Most women will agree that men are just pigs that can walk straight up on their hind legs. We catch our men staring at other women when we are next to them, imagine when they are not next to us.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Most women will agree that will they? I DON'T THINK THEY WILL. SOME men are pigs, sure (Hi Mel Gibson!). Most men do look at other women. This doesn't mean that most women think that their 'men' (shudder) are just waiting for the chance to fuck a stripper/random street woman. It’s quite a big mental jump to go from ‘my man’ sometimes looks at other people to ‘no men are trustworthy’ no?
Unless what she's actually saying is that women don't trust men not to look or something? In which case, life is going to be pretty tough if that's what you worry about. I've got a news flash for you. Your 'man' will look at other women. This is fine. You will look at other men. This is also fine. Cheating is usually not fine. But that's where that super-secret expression 'look but don't touch' comes in handy. None of this has anything to do with strip clubs. Turns out they also have a really handy ‘look but don’t touch’ rule. And bouncers.
The third point must be better?
Women are insecure. Surprised? Don't be. Most attractive women have little going for themselves except for their looks, so they can't help but be self-conscious. The point is that women are already paranoid about the way they look. Knowing that their partner goes to an establishment where perfectly sculpted women (even surgically enhanced ones) are on full display is very distressing.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Where can you even start? Genuinely, where? Are we really still suck in the whole year 9 ‘you can either be pretty or clever but definitely not both’ stage? Do unattractive people have everything going for them EXCEPT their looks? Are all attractive women paranoid and insecure? What about those attractive strippers? I guess not them as they’re ‘perfectly sculpted’ (probably my least favourite Cosmo words, just FYI).
God.
The whole point of this part of the article is to make it ok for men to go to strip clubs, because the only reason women don’t like them is because they’re jealous/insecure/crazy etc etc. Apart from the stippers you’re going to see obviously, who are women but also kind of not because if they were just like other women then eww.
It’s this kind of attitude which makes the stag night/work night out culture of strip clubs acceptable. It makes it seem like the reasons why women don’t like strip clubs are irrational (they generally aren’t), which in turn makes men who might agree with those women come across as emasculated. It’s the perfect way to successfully shut down the debate about the actual issues – any woman who tries to put their point across about why strip clubs might not always be a good thing gets put in the jealous/crazy box. And once you’re in that box you’re stuck.
This kind of attitude coming from a woman is (frustratingly) not surprising. It panders to the male gaze, and is pretty typical of a culture where conforming to beauty standards is considered empowering. Does that make it less depressing? No.
I started by searching 'why do men go to strip clubs'. Thought I might find a study, or some research, or, well, anything really. Instead, the first thing I found was an article on askmen.com (seriously, by the way, if you want to hate the world while you have a cup of tea, here is a good place to start).
It was this article
There is just SO MUCH WRONG in 600 words.
The whole article was written by 'womens sexuality correspondent' Vanesssa Burton. Firstly, let me say that I'm really glad that Vanessa is using her platform to speak for all women. I mean she is a woman, so that definitely means she can do that. I don't know what qualifications you have to get to be a 'womens sexuality correspondent' (lots of sex? a vagina? an opinion? all answers on a postcard please) but given how good this article is, I'm going to say they're tough to get.
My favourite bit of the article is the second part 'why women hate them'.
Let’s start with her introduction to why women hate them. It turns out that women don't NEED a reason to hate them. That's because they FEEL something. Over to you Vanessa.
The reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Remember, women don't need to explain things. When they feel something, especially when it concerns their men, no matter how trivial it is, don't bother arguing.
First of all, if women don't need to explain things, why didn't you stop writing this article? It really would have been better for humanity. And my Saturday afternoon. Second of all, I literally have no idea what this is supposed to mean. I feel something concerning my 'man' (vom), and that means I can say and do whatever I want without an argument? I mean great, I guess. I can do what I want. Hey Vanessa, I 'feel' that you're kind of annoying. Don't bother arguing.
How about her first point? Any better?
There are women with no clothes all around. Just imagine your girlfriend or wife surrounded by perfectly chiseled naked men, and you will understand their disapproval.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Really gets to the heart of the matter right? Well yes, in a strip club, there are women with no clothes. Thanks for the heads up! That might even be part of the reason why women don't like it. The problem is, is that it doesn't normally lead to 'disapproval'. Unless your girlfriend/wife is also your mother/teacher/boss. Your girlfriend/wife is probably more upset (those pesky feelings again! don't argue!) that you're spending your free time and money on a random naked woman. Either that or she is an intelligent woman who might think that the inherently creepy power balances in strip clubs are a bad thing, and she disapproves of you engaging with that.
The second point?
Women don't trust men. Most women will agree that men are just pigs that can walk straight up on their hind legs. We catch our men staring at other women when we are next to them, imagine when they are not next to us.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Most women will agree that will they? I DON'T THINK THEY WILL. SOME men are pigs, sure (Hi Mel Gibson!). Most men do look at other women. This doesn't mean that most women think that their 'men' (shudder) are just waiting for the chance to fuck a stripper/random street woman. It’s quite a big mental jump to go from ‘my man’ sometimes looks at other people to ‘no men are trustworthy’ no?
Unless what she's actually saying is that women don't trust men not to look or something? In which case, life is going to be pretty tough if that's what you worry about. I've got a news flash for you. Your 'man' will look at other women. This is fine. You will look at other men. This is also fine. Cheating is usually not fine. But that's where that super-secret expression 'look but don't touch' comes in handy. None of this has anything to do with strip clubs. Turns out they also have a really handy ‘look but don’t touch’ rule. And bouncers.
The third point must be better?
Women are insecure. Surprised? Don't be. Most attractive women have little going for themselves except for their looks, so they can't help but be self-conscious. The point is that women are already paranoid about the way they look. Knowing that their partner goes to an establishment where perfectly sculpted women (even surgically enhanced ones) are on full display is very distressing.
What this really means: women be jealous bitches.
Where can you even start? Genuinely, where? Are we really still suck in the whole year 9 ‘you can either be pretty or clever but definitely not both’ stage? Do unattractive people have everything going for them EXCEPT their looks? Are all attractive women paranoid and insecure? What about those attractive strippers? I guess not them as they’re ‘perfectly sculpted’ (probably my least favourite Cosmo words, just FYI).
God.
The whole point of this part of the article is to make it ok for men to go to strip clubs, because the only reason women don’t like them is because they’re jealous/insecure/crazy etc etc. Apart from the stippers you’re going to see obviously, who are women but also kind of not because if they were just like other women then eww.
It’s this kind of attitude which makes the stag night/work night out culture of strip clubs acceptable. It makes it seem like the reasons why women don’t like strip clubs are irrational (they generally aren’t), which in turn makes men who might agree with those women come across as emasculated. It’s the perfect way to successfully shut down the debate about the actual issues – any woman who tries to put their point across about why strip clubs might not always be a good thing gets put in the jealous/crazy box. And once you’re in that box you’re stuck.
This kind of attitude coming from a woman is (frustratingly) not surprising. It panders to the male gaze, and is pretty typical of a culture where conforming to beauty standards is considered empowering. Does that make it less depressing? No.